New Year's Resolutions

I'm hoping that by typing and publishing my resolutions for all the world to see, I'll do a better job of keeping them. We'll see how that goes. My first New Year's Resolution should probably be to blog more than eight times in six months. Again, we'll see how that goes.

So here they are, in all their glory:

1. Research foster care and adoption--This is our goal for February and March, specifically. The next step in this overall goal will have to wait until more research has been done. But we hope by the end of 2012 to have made bigger strides in moving toward adoption, whatever that may look like.

2. Pay down a large chunk of Chris's student loans--We have a more specific goal that this, but I'll let the vaguer version suffice for a public forum.

3. Have more date nights (with Chris): Since one of our big goals is financial, this will probably consist of a lot of at home date nights, with a few actual outings throughout the year. Good thing we own four versions of Scrabble.

3. Read 40 books--I met my goal of 50 books in 2011 (I actually read 51!), but I'm not going to lie--it was tough. I'm choosing 40 this year to give myself more room to read longer books. I keep track of my reading on Goodreads, if anyone cares to join me.

4. Exercise--Did you notice I didn't say exercise more? Hah! That's because I basically never exercise, except for a couple of (glorious? tortuous?) weeks in October 2011. Here's a fact that I'm willing to admit in writing, and in public: I hate to exercise. I would rather read a book or take a nap. I failed the President's Physical Fitness Test every year I was in school, because I couldn't do a pull up to save my life. And I still turned out to be a functional adult human being, albeit one who should probably exercise more. Michelle Obama would probably prefer I stop talking about this, lest I become a bad influence for the children.

5. Learn to bake using a sourdough starter--This is a semi-failure from my 2011 goals. I did make my own whole wheat sourdough starter, and I used it probably a dozen times, but then I neglected it, and it grew a scary looking mold on top, and then I threw it down the garbage disposal. I shouldn't feel that badly, since I kept three children and exactly one plant alive in 2011. Letting one sourdough starter die isn't that bad. Except, I also let a bunch of plants die...

6. Try again with my container garden--All of my plants died in my container garden, but it was mostly not my fault. When we lost two trees in a giant windstorm in November, some of the plants were crushed. Several more died when the tree removal crew stacked pots on top of each other. Now I have a bunch of pathetic looking sticks in pots. We'll try again this year.

7. Make ricotta and mozzarella at least once--Cheesemaking sounds fun, and I do love cheese, but what I lack is time (and a cow, goat, or sheep). I'm making this a small goal. If I like making mozzarella and ricotta, I'll continue. Maybe I'll try another cheese after those, but then again, maybe I won't.

8. Teach Declan to read--He's interested, he's ready, and he can already sound out lots of CVC words. We started Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons earlier this week, and he's been reading Level 1 BOB Books for a while now, much to his delight (and mine)!

9. Read one children's novel per month with the kids--We read The Mouse and the Motorcycle in November and December, and the kids loved it! We've also read a few shorter novels, like Absolutely Lucy. I'm using this list from Jim Trelease's website, and this list of preschool chapter books for inspiration.

10. Spend more time with friends--Enough said. I'm hoping to spend more time on the phone with friends who are far away, as well as in person with those of you who are local.

Declan's wildest dreams came true this morning, even if only for about three minutes.

Back story: Declan has five stuffed dogs--Mr. Woof Woof, Max, Chewy, Curious George, and Piano. Yes, he named them himself. Why do you ask? He sets them up around the kitchen table and serves them food from the play kitchen; we find them posed on the floor eating play sausages and drinking out of bowls; he straps them in the car, stroller, high chair, etc; he sleeps with them at night. He loves these dogs. Occasionally, he sighs and says, "I've never had a real dog. Just pretend dogs. Sad."

Back to this morning: Declan and Eleanor went out to play this morning, while I cleaned in their bedroom and watched them through the sliding glass door. They were squealing and running around the side of the house, and when I called to them to stay in the back, they responded that they were looking for a dog.

"We have a real dog! We have a real dog! We are the luckiest kids ever!"

I ignored this.

"Mom! A dog loves us! It wants to live at our house!"

I ignored this.

"Mom! Can we keep this real dog?"

I looked out the window to see my children sprinting across the backyard chasing a terrified chihuahua. I ran outside, tried to catch the dog, jumped back when it growled and snapped at me, and then saw a woman on the back porch of the house next door calling for a dog. The dog heard her calling and squeezed back through a hole in the fence between our two houses, thus solving the mystery of how we acquired a snappy chihuahua for about three minutes this morning. I also got to meet my very friendly neighbor, who just moved in last night.

Declan was very disappointed, and kept moping around the house saying, "I'm so sorry I didn't catch that dog. I'm so sorry I'm not a boy with a real dog." We are not getting a real dog. Sorry, kid.

Friday Bullet Points

My computer spent some time at the Genius Bar this last week, and the kids have made it clear that I shouldn't turn my back for two seconds, so I'll try to cobble together a list of what I can remember of the last week.

-This week was far and away better than last, and is best described with Eleanor's comment at dinner last night: "Declan sure improved his mood for dinner tonight! What a relief!"

-I recently read the suggestion that everyone gets one free pass in parenting. Mine is apparently not potty training, nor is it sleep. I'll leave it at that.

-My free pass might be eating, as evidenced by Declan and Eleanor's pretending to shoot laser beams out of their brains while devouring salmon last night, after I told them it would make their brains extra sharp.

-Aaron is sleeping over tonight (and the next few nights), and he picked "A League of Their Own" out of our drawer of DVDs to watch tonight. I wondered if he'd be disappointed when he realized he'd chosen a story of women's professional baseball and a tense sisterly relationship. Just now, two minutes into the movie, he asked me, "Is this all girls? All girls and no boys? Playing baseball? Are you kidding me?" We'll see how long he lasts.

-I finally got it together in the kitchen after moving this week, and I made yogurt, this salsa
(of which I may or may not have already eaten almost a whole jar), this granola, four loaves of bread, brownies, kefir, and kombucha, in addition to the normal meals. The rest of the house looks completely neglected, but if you come over, I'll have food for you to eat for the next couple of weeks!

-One of my favorite authors is Ann Patchett (mostly because I love Bel Canto). I just started reading Truth and Beauty the other day, which I am really enjoying so far. I set a goal for myself on Good Reads in January to read 50 books this year. Up until this last month, I was on track to meet my goal, but moving really threw me off. I'm attempting to catch up in the next few weeks. Up until having kids, if anyone would have told me that I'd ever go a full month without reading a single book, I'd be shocked. Now, as much as I still love to read, I have to be much more deliberate in reading regularly.

-Tomorrow night, we get to meet up with Ben and Dierdre for dinner in San Francisco while they're here from Scottsdale, thanks to Tom and Patty's being here to keep the kids! I'm excited to be close enough to the city for a quick trip like that!

-On that note, I may fall asleep in this chair if I don't get to bed...

First week back to work.

We're nearing the end of Chris's first week back to work, and mine as well. The most I can say at this point is that we will all survive it. Probably.

Chris's new schedule has him getting home every night at bedtime. After dinner, baths, jammies, and nightly meltdowns.

Declan has always had a hard time with changes and transitions, and so I fully expected his behavior to tank this week, and he did not disappoint. It has been a week full of his throwing tantrums, refusing to eat, making messes when my back is turned, bothering (tormenting?) Eleanor, etc, etc, etc.

Eleanor decided she was done with diapers last week, but she apparently did not decide that she wants to use the potty as well. After potty training Declan fairly easily by going cold-turkey with diapers, I thought that's what we'd do with Eleanor as well. This is the third round of cold-turkey potty training we've attempted with her since last fall. You win, baby girl.

Miles has Roseola this week, and has been clingier and fussier than usual, and he has not been sleeping well at all.

I'm pretty sure the kids all had a meeting on Sunday night, and decided they'd plan something special for Chris's first week back: Disaster Week!

However, I read Loving the Little Years by Rachel Jankovic earlier this week, and it couldn't have come at a better time. You can read my Goodreads review here, and if you're the parent of young kids (especially several young kids), I can't recommend it highly enough. I've been employing many of the techniques in the book for handling the kids, as well as the techniques for handling myself, this week (except for one incident when I may or may not have slammed the front door out of sheer rage--ahem).

I think this passage might have been written just for me this week:
"Don't think that the endless trips off to the bathroom with a toddler or two in tow are just a waste of time and energy--it is a gift that you are giving to your children. They will need these life skills! You are repeating these things for them just like a teacher circling missed math problems with a red pen. They will get it eventually, they just need lots and lots of repetition."

And maybe this one too:
"After having the twins, I had to deal with how easy it was to get overwhelmed. I can remember telling my husband that I was going to try not to say that anymore, not even to myself. It was time for me to adjust to the work load that God had given me. But deciding to be the kid who would dive in and not the kid who would stand around anticipating the work and getting overwhelmed has some real consequences. You have to know that you are giving up those moments that you were allowing yourself. Deciding not to say it is different than never actually being in over your head. But God loves a cheerful worker. I am still frequently in over my head. Actually, most of the time! But deciding to not wallow in that fact has removed one of the biggest obstacles to my work--my own calculations of how hard the job is."

So to summarize the week: tantrums, poop, a door covered in honey, pee in my shoe, fifty pounds of sand dumped in the grass, one trip to the library, one trip to the park, more poop, more pee, a tickle fest in the beanbag chair, and early bedtimes all around. The work is hard, the job is big, but the little people are worth it. Good night.

Miles Anderson

Miles was born at home exactly one year ago today, after several days of fetal-trickery that nearly drove me crazy wondering when he would actually decide to make an appearance. We were delighted to have another boy, mostly because if he had been a girl, Chris and I might still be arguing over a name!

He has spent the last year demonstrating that he is up to the task of being the youngest child with two siblings so close in age. He doesn't let Declan and Eleanor get in the way of his receiving all the attention that he wants from me; he protests loudly if I walk away or leave him with someone else, and he wakes up all night long to make up for any lack of daytime attention. He's very cuddly and affectionate with me always, and even occasionally with others. He loves Declan and Eleanor and wants to be involved with whatever they're doing: riding bikes, painting, playing at the playground, etc. He's pretty fearless and very tough. He has to be, since Declan tries to wrestle with him, and Eleanor constantly wants to rock him and hold him (usually against his will).

He loves animals, and calls all of them "dog!" or "ruff ruff!" He also can say mama, dada, Eleanor, Declan, Nini, Niki, Grammy, cat, night-night, look, more, thank you, that, hi, and bye. He's the closest to walking that any of our kids have been at one year, though Declan walked at 17 months, and Eleanor walked at 14.5 months, so he doesn't have fierce competition. He's pretty little (about 18 pounds), but he's very fast and agile, just like Declan was at that age. He is an absolute delight, and we look forward to really seeing his personality emerge over the next year!

Master Bedroom

When we moved in to this house, our bedroom looked like a dark, dreary chamber of gloom. The picture to the left doesn't really do it justice. The walls were a dark, pinkish tan color, with off-white trim. The wood floors had at some point be painted brown. Dark brown. I can understand painting wood floors, but why brown? It was grim.

Only because we had help from my wonderful mother-in-law, Patty, who was willing to watch the kids, Chris and I were able to spend a couple of days devoted to making our room much brighter and lighter.

We painted the walls a bright aqua color (Chris apparently truly loves me, because he'd have everything in our house plain white if he were choosing), and the ceiling and trim brighter white than it previously was. The best part is that we painted the wood floors white as well, and the room is much brighter, more relaxing, and much less likely to put me in a gloomy mood whenever I'm in there!

The Easy (?) Life

After living in an actual house for less than a week, I can already say I love it! When both Declan and Eleanor were born, we were living in our condo in Scottsdale. It was not very kid-friendly in that it was on the second floor (my neighbors definitely got a show on a daily basis when they watched me haul two kids, the double stroller, groceries, laundry, etc. up and down the stairs), and we were not allowed on the grass. Seriously. Our HOA spent thousands of dollars every month making that grass look gorgeous, but no one was allowed to walk on it, touch it, look at it, or really even think about it. Once we moved to LA, we were on the first floor (bliss!) and had a playground right outside our door. But pretty soon, Miles was born, and we had five people living in a 900 square foot, two bedroom apartment. It was tight, to say the very least.

Our new (to us) house is by no means huge, but it seems like a palace to us! It has a third bedroom, though for now we're still keeping all three kids in one room and using the third as a playroom. It has a fenced-in yard that I can see from the kitchen window, which is the only way we got our house unpacked in just over two days. It has a driveway where we can park. No more driving around trying to parallel park in a too-small spot during rush hour, and then hauling the kids and groceries a quarter mile to get home. And the most exciting (to me at least, since I do the laundry) is the washer and dryer just off of the kitchen. I used to schedule in laundry every three days, since using the coin-op machines at our apartment took a dedicated chunk of time when I could be home to deal with it, and washing five loads at once meant a mountain to fold all at the end.

Life at home just seems a lot easier and more productive than it used to (not that life with a three year old, two year old, and one year old should ever be described as easy and productive). I would sometimes beat myself up over how little I was able to get done during the day, especially when I would hear from other friends about all that they had done in a day. We're still working on organizing the house and making it home. We finished a fairly minor, but very exciting, home-improvement project last night that I'll write about once I get some good after pictures.